Passing Moments
by Firey-Moonlight
Summary: Lilith, her thoughts on Cain, Abel, and Seth, from the times they were happy together to the time of her betrayal, up to her death. Oneshot


**First Trinity Blood fanfic! It's an oneshot, something I am not used to since I'm more of the multi-chapter type, so take it easy on me.**

**I have not read the novels or manga, so if there's something here that clashes with the information provided from those sources, please do not bash me. The Crusniks here refer to anyone who isn't a Crusnik as 'humans', as to them the colonists and terrans are not that different.**

Lilith knew that Cain was favored, that among the four he was seen as the best both as an experiment and as a person. He was quiet and polite and spoke only when spoken to. He was not like his twin brother Abel, who had no trouble showing his temper and anger. He was not like Seth, who was still too naïve to understand why things were the way they were. He was not like her, who cared too much about others to show her true potential and self.

To the scientists, Cain was the perfect specimen.

Hair the colour of gold, most precious metal, it made sense to give him the white cloth edged in red. In some of the eastern cultures, gold and red together were the colours for prosperity. Gold and red were also the colours of fire; it was believed that Cain would be the light of hope for advancement in science. Abel, with his frosty silver hair, was given blue to emphasis the cold. He was seen as ice, frozen in his inability to further improve in the name of science.

What the scientists didn't realize was that they have switched the roles.

It was Cain who was the cold one. Lilith could see the ice in his eyes, the unnatural white of his teeth every time he smiled. Abel, the wild one, angry but passionate, was the fiery one. Despite how many times he yelled and ranted, despite the times he looked at the scientists in hatred, there was a definite softening of his eyes when he looked at his siblings. He looked up to her as his mother figure, and treated Seth like a baby sister. He argued with Cain frequently, but they always made up, and he could never stay mad at his elder twin for long.

To think the scientists attributed it to Cain going to his brother to make up. Even if Cain didn't, sooner or later Abel would go find him. Lilith had once seen Abel searching for Cain after a particularly nasty fight, and saw Abel awkwardly but sincerely apologized to his elder twin. Abel kept shifting and couldn't look at Cain straight in the eye, but he was at least trying. There was hope, for his burning hatred to become a fiery passion. When Cain had smiled and patted Abel's head, telling him that everything was fine, Abel had returned the smile. That smile told Lilith there was a chance.

Do the scientists ever notice? No, they only see results, numbers and ingredients, a stimuli and a reaction. Take, for example, the argument the other day about Abel's increasing favors for Seth. Abel had been helping the small girl hide from the scientists and had gotten into several fights with the other children because of her. Cain, under the scientists' orders, was sent to tell him to stop or drag them back by force.

"Remain where you are, Abel, Seth" The boy smiled as Abel made to lead Seth away. Abel could probably see Cain's intentions; the silver haired boy was no fool. Yet he stopped moving when he saw that Cain had the two of them cornered, the only defense was that he pushed Seth behind him. Cain continued, with that ever-so-polite smile "They are getting mad at the two of you. Abel, you know Seth is due to her tests, and that getting into fights with the other kids is not acceptable. If you will two will follow me…"

"For Mars' sake," Abel interrupted, stamping his foot "stop acting like you're their dogs! Are we going to be denied of our will as well?! Your cold blood cannot be worked into a fever, your veins are ice-water, but mine are boiling, and the sight of such chillness makes them dance."

"To get rid of me, simply return to them. I require knowing what option you choose, to return to them quietly or to have me force you"

"I require being alone!"

In the ensuring argument that followed, the scientists arrived unnoticed. Cain stood there almost apathetically as a few scientists chased after Seth, while several of them held down his outraged brother before injecting him with something that knocked him out for several hours. Lilith carried Seth home, and Cain, not to be outdone, carried his brother. Lilith knew then, as Cain watched the scientists at the corner of his eyes, that Cain considered the scientists inferior, as it took several of them just to catch and restrain his younger siblings.

When Abel woke up in his own room, the first thing he did was rage, and yell. Despite the material the walls and locked door were made of, Abel's voice reached them all as he yelled and cursed at them. He went quiet after a while, but refused to heed any calls for him. Lilith tried talking to him, and the scientists unlocked his door, but he refused to come out. He wouldn't even look at her, but at least he would speak.

"Where's Seth?"

"They have not finished with the tests"

"What about that apathetic being?"

"His studies occupy him more then ever, and he is constantly among his books"

"Among his books! And Seth is hurting, while I am betrayed! He imagines me as a pet, in play perhaps? If only I have some way to get back at him, to let him know how much it hurts!"

Abel's use of the word 'betrayal' came off as a bit strong, and Lilith couldn't help thinking that his temper could have tired a saint's, but she also knew that while Abel may be vicious at times, he rarely physically hurt someone. If there was a trait the twins currently share, it was the unwillingness to dirty their hands. They would prefer having others do the dirty work for them, but whereas Lilith could see Cain did it because he didn't deem the others worth killing, Abel had a more pacifist side of him that had not truly surfaced yet. If Abel wanted to hurt Cain at their current stage, he wouldn't try physical attacks, he would think more along the lines of 'we're more civilized then those humans, we will not go attacking each other like those wild beasts!'

"If I were only sure it would kill him" she once heard Abel murmur "I'd kill myself directly! How dreary to meet death, surrounded by their cold faces. At least the effect on the others would be enough satisfaction. The scientists, mourning over the loss of an annoying but important specimen; and Cain, disappointed that there will be one less person to help him build his new world!"

Those words sent a chill on Lilith, as for the first time she began wondering how much the twins appreciated life – their own as well as those of others.

The scientists treated Abel's fit coldly, deciding that he will come out of his room by himself when he got hungry enough. Abel, in turn, seemed set on staying inside his room, refusing to go down to those 'filthy humans' and the 'apathetic smiling being', and now it was he who locked the door. He would let no one but Lilith (and Seth when she finally came out) in. Their little sister took one look at Abel's pale face, and exclaimed that he ought to go down and eat, even if it meant facing the humans.

"Like I'll go see that apathetic person" Abel answered, despite his ill health. The scientists refused to give him food if he didn't come out himself, and Abel, seeing it as a challenge, remained firmly put in his room. Neither Lilith nor Seth could convince the other side to give in, but one day they arrived into Abel's room to see Cain inside. The golden-haired boy had Abel's head on his lap as the ill boy murmured things that made sense in a rather mixed manner.

"I thought I was back home, lying in my room on Earth…My brain is confused, do Crusniks have hallucinations? I dread sleeping, my dreams appall me…If I were in my own bed at my own house…and that wind blowing through the open window…there is no wind up here…I have no control of my own tongue and brain…my misery arouse from the separation that they have forced upon me and my siblings…I wish I were a bit younger, half savage and free, and laughing at injuries, not maddening under them…I can't see the moon today…there is no moon…I don't remember how my room on earth looks like anymore…this is my room now…"

"Seth," Cain called out "can you go down and bring some food back up? If they say no, tell them I asked for it." The little girl obeyed, trotting away as fast as her small feet can carry her. Lilith knew this time Seth would not receive a no, the scientists favored Cain, if he asked for it, they will most likely give it to him. Abel's eyes took a while to focus on Cain, and when they did, his words were harsh.

"Cain, you are one of those things that are always found when least wanted, and when you are wanted, never! You'll leave Seth to suffer under those inhuman experiments, but come to me simply because I refuse to eat! Should I be touched, moved that you'll care? What you touch at present you may have, but my spirit will be somewhere far away, where no degenerate human exist, nor anyone who would betray their own sibling!"

"Abel," Cain spoke in a tone one normally reserved for young children "did you seriously think I will let Seth go to them so pointlessly? Do you believe I'll leave you to die so heartlessly as well? No, Abel, you of all people should know I resent the treatment we receive as much as you do, but to recklessly hurt ourselves over it is not the solution. We are not mere children, to throw tantrums and to hurt ourselves is not what we should be doing. If we want to freedom, we have to be able to learn about the enemy and their weaknesses before exploiting them. That is how we ought to behave, study the enemy, not the various ways to weaken ourselves." Cain appeared to be able to continue, but upon Seth's arrival he closed up. As expected, Seth had some food with her, and together the two helped Abel regain his strength.

It was a rare scene, Abel willingly leaning against Cain and being spoon-fed by a rather cheerful Seth. As sweet as the sight was, Lilith felt increasingly wary of Cain, and how much he would soon ensnarl their younger siblings to his ideals. Seth and Abel adored her, but they could not comprehend her devotion to the humans who looked at them so coldly and differently. Cain, on the other hand, they can look up to and understand. All of them were resentful of being tightly reined by the scientists. If Cain came up with a plan to get rid of them, Abel and Seth will most likely see it through.

Lilith knew she had to stop them from doing so, but she could see it was something she might never be able to stop. So she treasured their rare moments as happy siblings together and focused more on teaching them compassion as opposed to love for their human creators. The scientists in their attempt to play god by creating the four of them were not able to completely understand what they've done.

After all, she didn't understand herself completely at times.

She wasn't sure what made her choose those humans over her dearest siblings. Maybe it was how malicious she saw the Colonists could be. Maybe it was some part of her wishing to be accepted by the majority of human society. Perhaps it was because she thought the earth dwellers – _Terrans_, they were officially named Terrans – would win. She could make up so many reasons, just to justify herself for placing that look of hurt and betrayal in her younger siblings' eyes, with the exception of Cain.

_His_ eyes bore only anger…and hatred. The same hatred he had given the scientists, only now it was directed at her. Seth had been crying, Abel had been trembling in emotional pain, and as Cain held them close his eyes showed hatred in its purest form, in his eyes was a deadly promise to her.

The war began, there were many deaths on both sides. Her knowledge and power gave her a pretty high rank, but she fought in the front lines. The Terrans didn't trust her completely, after all. She didn't mind, her eyes and ears were sharp for any traces of her siblings, but she never saw them. Reports of other battles and casualties on the other side revealed nothing either.

Of course, Seth and Abel, under Cain's direction, will avoid dirtying their hands. They'll by the ones pulling the strings behind the Methuselah, directing them from the shadows. The Methuselah had many undercover operations, no doubt to 'study the enemy'. When there was an attack from the Methuselah, they seem to be pretty refined, with clear objectives and purposes, as if Abel had organized them to mock the Terrans' weak attempts at coordination, showing how the Methuselah were more intelligent then the Terrans' 'wild beast behavior'. Despite the Methuselah's emphasis on strong attacks, they also had strong counters and treatments for all kinds of attacks from the humans. Seth, it seemed, was able to discover many ways to speed up regeneration and recovery on the Methuselah's side, and trained many in her medical knowledge. The ends the Methuselah will attempt for their purpose also told Lilith that Cain had motivated every single one of them to win, no matter what the cause.

The war continued. No one was sure which side was winning or losing.

Then, suddenly out of the blue, she received a secret request from the Methuselah's leader, Cain Nightroad. Indeed he had taken charge of their siblings, and they allowed him. The request was simple, he wanted negotiations. Her human comrades were already worried, could guess it was a trap, and asked whether she wanted someone to accompany her. Lilith shook her head.

Why bring in more deaths? She knew her siblings well enough; she remembered the look in Cain's eyes when she left. They were dark with anger and hatred. She knew what he was planning, but why now of all times?

The answer soon came to her; perhaps their younger siblings were no longer as ensnarled by Cain's charms and ideals as they were before. Cain realized that the fact Lilith was on the Terrans' side was making their siblings hesitant, and had decided to get rid of her before they got too sentimental. He was growing frightfully possessive of his twin and younger sister.

If that was so, her dear brother didn't understand their siblings as much as he thought. Upon her death, the two of them would see Cain as doing what Lilith herself once did – betrayed their familial bond. Except this time, there will be a great wrath, because while Lilith had betrayed their cause, Cain will have betrayed their blood.

Lilith also realized that this was perhaps the best way to awake her siblings' compassion, long buried by their hatred and Cain's influence.

So she went for the negotiations, and saw Cain there, smiling that same smile he had been smiling since they were young. He had grown, his features were sharper, his body taller. She felt a twinge of regret then; she would never have a chance to see how Abel and Seth had grown. Actually, it was better if she didn't see them. Had they been present, it meant they were aware of Cain's plans and supported it. After all, if they genuinely wanted negotiations, the request would've come more openly and less secretly.

Cain didn't kill her right away; he gave her a chance to talk. Perhaps deep down, he wanted her to say she would rejoin them once more. Lilith almost wanted to, but she didn't. She acted the role of the diplomat wanting to settle the war. She was sure she saw disappointment in his eyes, before he killed her. A swift death, she almost didn't feel it coming.

As her senses disappeared, she remembered the times they once shared. Smiling Cain, caring Abel, and cheerful Seth; once upon a time, they were happy. Once upon a time, they would have died for each other.

Lilith first broke away from that, choosing instead to help the humans. Cain, by killing her, has also broken them further. She knew that Abel would never forgive him for that, he was the vengeful one; he will go through hell and water to avenge her. Briefly, she wondered whether that meant she was responsible for breaking him away from the group as well. At least Seth would remain stable; her youngest sibling knew how to handle delicate matters best. Maybe she will understand her intentions, and at least try for peace and cease the fighting.

Maybe, just maybe, some day in the future there will be a time where co-existence was possible. If her death could spark the actions of those who will one day bring true peace, then she will die without regrets.

**Betrayal seems to play such an important role in the Trinity Blood universe: Among the siblings, between Esther and Dietrich, Archbishop d'Este and his nephews/niece, Ion and Radu, etc. Cain seems so apathetic with his smile at times, he was apathetic enough not to even bother killing Esther, so I took off with that. We saw so little of Lilith in the anime, in fact if it were not for the fansites I've visited I don't think I would've understood the whole story behind her. Argh, does ANYONE know where I can get the manga or novel translated into English? I'm apparently missing a lot**

**Comments, questions, or suggestions? Put everything in the form of an review! **


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